the writing on the wall

 guide my hands, through the motions

lord, be a light unto my way, 

an arrow to my path, 

and keep me away 

from the edge. 

how I've longed 

for a garden like yours

when I can't even tend my own, 

and upon my enemies threefold 

I wish my blessings. 

I see your face

in the moon, in the surface of the water, 

in my own face, in my own words, 

I see your fate

written in the leaves

flags I'll ignore 

words I won't read

in the palms of my hands, the lines spell your name,

I spit bloody flowers all over my table, I have frightened

the woman who made me food, who washed my clothes, 

who stares at me pale and gray faced as I 

swallow my dinner

you are someone I won't speak to again

but I am never done burying you. 

Only a foot more to go, 

and I fall facefirst in the grave with you

the honesty of a corpse feels like the longing of a dear friend

and I count the hours like grains of sand, 

losing you has been 

a necessary evil and pain 

for I can leave my heart here in the grave

and it can rot with you

and we can both dance in hell. 

 

this story's one-sided, I'm writing it myself

and I use your star 

as a guiding point, 

I follow its path 

across the darkness and wait.