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artemis of the ephesians

 the author doesn't know what the pen doest,  and the potter is unfamiliar with the clay.    Hell is in the details and so is god and I am in the hallway outside of a great dining hall of infants horde of devils, waiting to devour,  my god my god why have you forsaken yourself! who is the man that thought this was a good way to do things?  show yourself!   fuck, it's me.  and i'm not a man but not a woman,  not a person but not a nonperson,  an imposter in human skin,  of the same proportions but with none of the same ingredients.    staring into the murky dark water  i uttered an offering, my words the only thing between  myself and god.  the veil lifted up and for a moment i beheld him  as him as he can be,  portly and ugly and writhing with worms.  you chose your god long ago.  he said.  in pity.    you chose who i was to be when you formed me from the clay.   ...

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